In constant motion, frozen panes come to life...
and I see your face unfold from the haze I was in;
Unraveling before my eyes were memories of you,
a reverie of constant longing... a resounding din.
Torn between the morsels of the past
and the monotonous fear within my being,
I was petrified... I did what my heart had forbid;
and I let go of you like a kite on a string.
I see you each night in my dreams
as I strive to stay awake in fear...
the fear of regret, and its shattering response
was too usurious for me to acknowledge and hear.
I pray for the day that fragments of you
would fade in eventual evanescence;
Though my heart will forever burn for you...
in sheer and utter incandescence.
written on the 18th of July 2010/23:00 PPST/Phnom Penh
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
'Love Beyond Compare'
Who would've thought life would be this way?
That after all these years our love would be unfrayed?
That God will bless us with a love so true?
That weaknesses will be eradicated by the love I drew from you?
You are the source of my strength, the epitome of love;
the epiphany of our oneness with the God from above.
You are the foundation of my fleeting sanity,
the doors that seemed to lead away from actual reality.
Our sacred union was meant to be our guiding light
to prevent love from furtively taking its improbable and viable flight...
Our love bore fruits, and it made us even stronger
It gave meaning to my life, for then our love would not be forever.. but longer.
And as I grow older I see our love mature
it's transformed to a disease without a possible cure
I will forever cherish the love we share; incomparable to the wind and its gust
Until the day we breathe our last... to meet our Father who created us.
written on the 20th of July 2010/14:17 PPST/Phnom Penh
That after all these years our love would be unfrayed?
That God will bless us with a love so true?
That weaknesses will be eradicated by the love I drew from you?
You are the source of my strength, the epitome of love;
the epiphany of our oneness with the God from above.
You are the foundation of my fleeting sanity,
the doors that seemed to lead away from actual reality.
Our sacred union was meant to be our guiding light
to prevent love from furtively taking its improbable and viable flight...
Our love bore fruits, and it made us even stronger
It gave meaning to my life, for then our love would not be forever.. but longer.
And as I grow older I see our love mature
it's transformed to a disease without a possible cure
I will forever cherish the love we share; incomparable to the wind and its gust
Until the day we breathe our last... to meet our Father who created us.
written on the 20th of July 2010/14:17 PPST/Phnom Penh
'From Above'
There was just never enough of seeing your smile,
It made all my days and nights worthwhile
The way you laugh, and that almost sinister sneer;
how you'd easily get red with just a bottle of beer.
I remember the day that we actually first met
It was like it was planned by Fate... everything was set
It was a gift to keep me from being broken-hearted,
It was like a love story that happily ended as soon as it started.
Days went on and you told me you'd leave
I felt like a kid without a gift on Christmas Eve
I was torn to pieces from deep inside
but all these things I had continued to try to hide.
And then, as the dreaded day drew near
I was covered in sorrow, I was covered in fear
"I would be lost without you" I thought
along with other fears I continuously fought.
The day you left was the saddest moment in my life
I felt that I would forever live in sorrow and strife
Tears slowly made their way to my eyes
as you started to say your last goodbyes.
As you turned your back I felt alone
it was like my heart had suddenly been turned to stone
I was crying hard from deep inside
When my brother asked me if I was alright... I lied.
Going home without knowing you're not there anymore
just made me feel worse... a feeling I never felt before
All the memories of you flashing one by one
All the laughter, the fights, the smiles, the fun.
And so here I am, patiently waiting for you to come back
you're the one missing piece that lacks
I will remain forever true to you and our love
because I believe that what we have came from up above.
written on the 19th of July 2010/23:59 PPST/Phnom Penh
It made all my days and nights worthwhile
The way you laugh, and that almost sinister sneer;
how you'd easily get red with just a bottle of beer.
I remember the day that we actually first met
It was like it was planned by Fate... everything was set
It was a gift to keep me from being broken-hearted,
It was like a love story that happily ended as soon as it started.
Days went on and you told me you'd leave
I felt like a kid without a gift on Christmas Eve
I was torn to pieces from deep inside
but all these things I had continued to try to hide.
And then, as the dreaded day drew near
I was covered in sorrow, I was covered in fear
"I would be lost without you" I thought
along with other fears I continuously fought.
The day you left was the saddest moment in my life
I felt that I would forever live in sorrow and strife
Tears slowly made their way to my eyes
as you started to say your last goodbyes.
As you turned your back I felt alone
it was like my heart had suddenly been turned to stone
I was crying hard from deep inside
When my brother asked me if I was alright... I lied.
Going home without knowing you're not there anymore
just made me feel worse... a feeling I never felt before
All the memories of you flashing one by one
All the laughter, the fights, the smiles, the fun.
And so here I am, patiently waiting for you to come back
you're the one missing piece that lacks
I will remain forever true to you and our love
because I believe that what we have came from up above.
written on the 19th of July 2010/23:59 PPST/Phnom Penh
'Drifting Away'
My heartbeat subsides as I see your face,
enlightened by your smile...
shedding light on the darker part of me;
scarlet dark... where I'd been for a while.
Your eyes continuously give me hope
in an effort to set me free
trapped in a world where I can never leave
for you are the one who holds the key.
I live my life to feel the way
your smile burns everything in me
as Fate deprives me of showing love;
a love you would never see.
Drifting away to that constant memory;
a never-ending spell...
A path of life that I must tread,
that I can never repel.
written on the 13th of January 2009/00:39 MST/Manila
enlightened by your smile...
shedding light on the darker part of me;
scarlet dark... where I'd been for a while.
Your eyes continuously give me hope
in an effort to set me free
trapped in a world where I can never leave
for you are the one who holds the key.
I live my life to feel the way
your smile burns everything in me
as Fate deprives me of showing love;
a love you would never see.
Drifting away to that constant memory;
a never-ending spell...
A path of life that I must tread,
that I can never repel.
written on the 13th of January 2009/00:39 MST/Manila
'Illumination'
As the clouds steadily steer away from my mind,
a ray of sunshine drifts and unwinds.
My deep entrancement slowly falters,
and bliss sets in like raging waters.
And though the brief encounter abruptly ends,
the stillness of my mind continually mends.
And as the night grows deeper, a euphoric state;
Astonishing what your smile creates.
And as the light leaves and fades into the night,
I am left again... seeking for the light.
* uncertain date of composition
a ray of sunshine drifts and unwinds.
My deep entrancement slowly falters,
and bliss sets in like raging waters.
And though the brief encounter abruptly ends,
the stillness of my mind continually mends.
And as the night grows deeper, a euphoric state;
Astonishing what your smile creates.
And as the light leaves and fades into the night,
I am left again... seeking for the light.
* uncertain date of composition
'In Broken Pieces'
The night grows deep, and a conversation ensues
I hang on tight; like a neck on a noose
She astounds with sheer naturality
a complicated mind, with sheer complexity.
Her smile, I imagined, like roses blooming
a contradiction of clouds within me; gloomy
Her eyes, like stars in the night
her mind; a complicated flock of birds taking flight.
The affairs of the heart, and the irreversible feelings
take over as I see them hover and sets me reeling
As I constantly see them in my deepest dreams
as she becomes a fragment of my whims.
And as I lay my soul to rest
memories rush in with no regrets
For fragments of memories come rushing in
in broken pieces I've never seen.
* uncertain date of composition
I hang on tight; like a neck on a noose
She astounds with sheer naturality
a complicated mind, with sheer complexity.
Her smile, I imagined, like roses blooming
a contradiction of clouds within me; gloomy
Her eyes, like stars in the night
her mind; a complicated flock of birds taking flight.
The affairs of the heart, and the irreversible feelings
take over as I see them hover and sets me reeling
As I constantly see them in my deepest dreams
as she becomes a fragment of my whims.
And as I lay my soul to rest
memories rush in with no regrets
For fragments of memories come rushing in
in broken pieces I've never seen.
* uncertain date of composition
'The Stillness of the Mind'
As the clouds steadily steer away from my mind,
a ray of sunshine drifts and unwinds.
My deep entrancement slowly falters,
and bliss sets in like raging waters.
And though the brief encounter abruptly ends,
the stillness of my mind continually mends.
* uncertain date of composition
a ray of sunshine drifts and unwinds.
My deep entrancement slowly falters,
and bliss sets in like raging waters.
And though the brief encounter abruptly ends,
the stillness of my mind continually mends.
* uncertain date of composition
'With Just One Smile'
My eyes grew weary and my soul feigned weak...
Your smile drew vigor like a fortified creek.
Letters of an unfamiliar resonance brought forth light
creating the alteration of opaque darkness to incandescent light.
* uncertain date of composition
Your smile drew vigor like a fortified creek.
Letters of an unfamiliar resonance brought forth light
creating the alteration of opaque darkness to incandescent light.
* uncertain date of composition
'In my Dreams'
The night ends with echoes inside my head
reverberating... like the voices of the dead.
And whatever it was that was left unsaid
would have to be drawn in my dreams instead.
* uncertain date of composition
reverberating... like the voices of the dead.
And whatever it was that was left unsaid
would have to be drawn in my dreams instead.
* uncertain date of composition
'Unartistic Symmetry'
In flawed and unartistic symmetry I drew my life
painted with the colors of grief and strife
drawn by fragments of broken lead
of endless sordid memories bred.
* uncertain date of composition
painted with the colors of grief and strife
drawn by fragments of broken lead
of endless sordid memories bred.
* uncertain date of composition
'The Nearness of You'
Each time I try to not stop and pause
resistance defined... but is a futile cause.
Sanity astutely hangs on a lacerated string;
You simply continue to take away... everything.
* uncertain date of composition
resistance defined... but is a futile cause.
Sanity astutely hangs on a lacerated string;
You simply continue to take away... everything.
* uncertain date of composition
'The Church'
For upon a rock a church was built
and its foundations of faith are pure and true
like a wild flower under a scorching sun; it will not wilt;
a testament to the raging storms it overthrew.
And the wind shall mercilessly beat
but the Church shall remain unfazed,
For God's promise is forever lit
by His words that we all have embraced.
For God's promise is unwavering,
just like the heat the sun endows
unlike men who fly with spurious wings
only to fall from bough to bough.
No, the Church shall not crumble
nor will it viably fall in vain
for it was built upon a rock, not a pebble
and with it our God and our Savior shall forever remain.
For the church is the body of Christ,
where He shall ultimately save
Yes, it shall be mocked and criticized
but they shall never see the path it paves.
And as the world revolves
the day of Judgment imminently waits
for the heathens who He will dissolve
as they are locked out from heaven's gates.
And as we patiently wait for Christ's return
and His relentless saving grace
our faith will continue to thrive and burn
offering Him and the Lord God our thanks and praise.
written on the 26th of July 2010/23:36 PPST/Phnom Penh
and its foundations of faith are pure and true
like a wild flower under a scorching sun; it will not wilt;
a testament to the raging storms it overthrew.
And the wind shall mercilessly beat
but the Church shall remain unfazed,
For God's promise is forever lit
by His words that we all have embraced.
For God's promise is unwavering,
just like the heat the sun endows
unlike men who fly with spurious wings
only to fall from bough to bough.
No, the Church shall not crumble
nor will it viably fall in vain
for it was built upon a rock, not a pebble
and with it our God and our Savior shall forever remain.
For the church is the body of Christ,
where He shall ultimately save
Yes, it shall be mocked and criticized
but they shall never see the path it paves.
And as the world revolves
the day of Judgment imminently waits
for the heathens who He will dissolve
as they are locked out from heaven's gates.
And as we patiently wait for Christ's return
and His relentless saving grace
our faith will continue to thrive and burn
offering Him and the Lord God our thanks and praise.
written on the 26th of July 2010/23:36 PPST/Phnom Penh
'The Broken Suicidal Ode'
As I lay my soul to rest
watching the opaque night,
I drift unconsciously into the dark
where there seemed to be no hope.. no light.
Words were empty, like barren land,
conjuring an oasis in its midst
the world fading slowly;
as I take one last look at my bloodied wrist.
Images of my life
spontaneously flashed by
and I started hearing all the laughter...
all the shrieks and cries.
Everything my life was made of
and their twisting turns;
the agony brought upon itself
like the pain brought by thorns.
And as I lay my soul to rest
watching the opaque night,
I walk towards the gates of Pandemonium...
away from redemption.. away from the light.
written on the 28th of May 2010/00:31 PPST/Phnom Penh
watching the opaque night,
I drift unconsciously into the dark
where there seemed to be no hope.. no light.
Words were empty, like barren land,
conjuring an oasis in its midst
the world fading slowly;
as I take one last look at my bloodied wrist.
Images of my life
spontaneously flashed by
and I started hearing all the laughter...
all the shrieks and cries.
Everything my life was made of
and their twisting turns;
the agony brought upon itself
like the pain brought by thorns.
And as I lay my soul to rest
watching the opaque night,
I walk towards the gates of Pandemonium...
away from redemption.. away from the light.
written on the 28th of May 2010/00:31 PPST/Phnom Penh
'Memories in the Rain'
Leaves fell down as the gentle breeze made its way
the sun shining brightly as a summer's day in May
I sit adjacent to the window pane and reminisce
the fragments of the past;
never-ending memories of my life passes by as
if every painful scene was meant to last.
Broken pieces of a fragmented past slowly seeping in
races in life; of struggles, sacrifice, losses and wins
each and every frame of the past defines the years
the happiness felt... and all the tears.
The affairs of the heart, and its seemingly complicated turns;
the crucifying feeling of my heart broken... and its torturous burns.
I had lived my life for what felt more like eternity
the paths of life I chose may have been for the best: utter serendipity.
With age came wisdom, and in wisdom I thrived
as broken pieces of my life slowly coincides
I had lived to see the years that slowly went by
and witness its fruits and its echoing cries.
It is at present, that I slowly begin to spontaneously realize,
that life cannot be perfect; that even if you fall... you have to rise.
That life was never meant to be perfect in its way,
that you have to live and enjoy each frame of life, each and every day.
That maybe life had set its own set of paths to cross
and that on every end, there would always be a place for a loss
That maybe someday, again, when I sit adjacent to the window pane
I would learn to love the memories I had left out in the rain.
written on the 26th of January 2009/23:20 MST/Manila
the sun shining brightly as a summer's day in May
I sit adjacent to the window pane and reminisce
the fragments of the past;
never-ending memories of my life passes by as
if every painful scene was meant to last.
Broken pieces of a fragmented past slowly seeping in
races in life; of struggles, sacrifice, losses and wins
each and every frame of the past defines the years
the happiness felt... and all the tears.
The affairs of the heart, and its seemingly complicated turns;
the crucifying feeling of my heart broken... and its torturous burns.
I had lived my life for what felt more like eternity
the paths of life I chose may have been for the best: utter serendipity.
With age came wisdom, and in wisdom I thrived
as broken pieces of my life slowly coincides
I had lived to see the years that slowly went by
and witness its fruits and its echoing cries.
It is at present, that I slowly begin to spontaneously realize,
that life cannot be perfect; that even if you fall... you have to rise.
That life was never meant to be perfect in its way,
that you have to live and enjoy each frame of life, each and every day.
That maybe life had set its own set of paths to cross
and that on every end, there would always be a place for a loss
That maybe someday, again, when I sit adjacent to the window pane
I would learn to love the memories I had left out in the rain.
written on the 26th of January 2009/23:20 MST/Manila
'Angkor Wat'
I stand mesmerized... the beauty within its walls
coarse, ragged and asymmetrical pieces of rocks enthralls
centuries and centuries of affluent history echoes within its enormity
a witness to the blood and sweat that dripped from its imposed sovereignty.
As if awakened by the flash of my digital contraption,
sculpted beings commence breathing life etched in unyielding stone
Petrifying... like the raging waters of a raging river;
inciting fear and awe along with the message it delivers.
Of sacrifice and submission, that of grief and strife
the pure beauty of the creation of a peaceful life
of the generations that passed as time drifted past
for the memories were meant to forever last.
written on the 23rd of April 2010/05:07 PPST/Phnom Penh
coarse, ragged and asymmetrical pieces of rocks enthralls
centuries and centuries of affluent history echoes within its enormity
a witness to the blood and sweat that dripped from its imposed sovereignty.
As if awakened by the flash of my digital contraption,
sculpted beings commence breathing life etched in unyielding stone
Petrifying... like the raging waters of a raging river;
inciting fear and awe along with the message it delivers.
Of sacrifice and submission, that of grief and strife
the pure beauty of the creation of a peaceful life
of the generations that passed as time drifted past
for the memories were meant to forever last.
written on the 23rd of April 2010/05:07 PPST/Phnom Penh
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